Distractions
by indiglow79
Summary: Quinn is sent to another universe. Kylo Ren senses her presence, strength and mutant powers and seeks to find her before the resistance learns of her existence. In hopes of using her as a weapon for the First Order, Kylo Ren seeks out her trust, but gets more than he bargained for.
1. Chapter 1

She was the mother I never had. She found me. Brought me to Xavier's academy. She trained me. We are one of the same. Precognition, telepathy, mind control, psychic weapons and illusions. I was her, reincarnate, she'd joke. She taught me how to use them to the best of my abilities. Yet I still couldn't strike and take her down in the way she wanted me to.

"I think you're almost ready to join us, ace," Psyclocke stood over me, as she released her telekinetic rope around my neck. I was on the floor, beaten.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically, lying on the floor, not wanting to move. She extended an arm to aid me up.

"You know you need to treat the danger room as legitimate. I may be your teacher, but in here, I'm your enemy. You need to fight like you mean it. I know you can do it. I've seen it."

She was right. I lacked confidence in my own abilities. It would, ultimately, be up to the professor to decide if I was ready to join the X-Men, not Psylocke. I was not convinced I'd grow the necessary confidence by summer for my testing to officially wear the badge of honor.

She put her arm around me, as I hobbled out of the now deactivated danger room.

"I appreciate the training today," I said, through gritted teeth, "but I have another important exam to prepare for."

My comprehensive examination was coming up. I'd soon be a PhD. If I couldn't join the X-Men as a fighter, I could certainly join Dr. Jean Grey and Dr. Hank McCoy in the laboratory. I didn't make much for a scientist either, always scraping by through grad school. Was I gifted as a mutant? According to Psylocke, yes, but I always thought that had more to do with her pride in discovering of me seven years ago in my quiet sanctuary of a university library. How she claims she found me through cerbro. I'm still not sure I buy it.

According to my other mentor, Dr. Grey, Psylocke had been searching for someone of the same abilities for some time. Same abilities we had, but appearances … not so much. I always admired her figure – she was beautiful, tall, slender, ethnic, and likely the only woman I know who could pull off purple hair. I wanted to be her. Every woman wanted to be her. Unfortunately, I was a pale, short, and white girl from the Pacific Northwest who's hair couldn't handle a rainy day. Needless to say, virtually everyday was a bad hair day. I wasn't exactly the reincarnate she might have hoped for, more like a Gilmore Girl than a sexy ninja.

My fighting uniform differed exponentially from hers. She was sexy, and let her hair flow as she fought, let alone made no means to hide her physical features. I trained in more modest attire, covered completely. I even went the extra step of wearing gloves, until it was time to learn the art of the telekinetic katana, that I realized it wasn't worth replacing gloves on the daily. And as a side note, I can assure you; my brown, shoulder length hair did not flow when I fought.

As I made my way into the hall, hobbling along side my mother, my mentor, my teacher, she stopped me before tapping the elevator button.

"Quinn, you're going to be fine. I wouldn't have invested in you if I didn't think you could do it. I won't be with the X-Men forever, and someone with your powers is a huge asset to them," she was sincere.

"I know. I'm over thinking it. I always do. I'm tired too, I apologize. I didn't get enough sleep," I replied.

"Are you still having those dreams?" she asked.

The dreams. I had them every night.

"Yes, and they're becoming increasingly realistic. I'm worried it's precognitive. Jean and the Professor have tried to reach into my mind, to examine the dream, but they both had the same issues you did. My mind is resisting showing them what I see. I feel crazy, but I wish they would stop," I started to tear up as I said this. Pyslocke was worried; she had been transported to different worlds in her time, it happens, either inadvertently, on her own accord, or by another mutant. "Psylocke, I don't know what I would do if it happened to me – what has happened to you – I don't think I'm strong enough to get back home."

She knew I was right. Her face said it all. I had bouts of precognitive visions, but nothing ever manifested. She assumed it wasn't as strong in me as it was she.

"There is a silver lining. It may mean that your resistance to telepathic and telekinetic attacks is growing. Do you still see him, the masked man?" she asked.

"Yes. He has a weapon, almost like my katana, but red. He never moves. He just … I mean … I think he stares at me. It's hard to tell. Nothing ever happens, and I can't bring myself to move. But I can feel so much pain, and I can hear crying– I just can't see anything beyond him," I stared at the floor, recalling my dream last night.

She looked worried. The elevator opened, and she put her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it in the motherly way that she did before sending me off for the day.

"Keep your wits about you, Quinn. In my experience, these things can happen at any time." And she was right. They tended to happen at the most inopportune of times.

I was tired. After showering, I headed to the lab. Jean handed me several samples of skin cells to study. I stared at it for a good fifteen minutes before she said anything.

"Quinn, are you okay? You look exhausted. Did Psylocke make you train this morning?"

"I'm sorry Jean. I'm over training, studying, and I'm not sleeping," I said, feeling terrible.

"If there's anything I've learned from my graduate studies, it's that you need to rest. Take a day or two, go to your room and sleep it off. You'll thank me later," she suggested.

I felt like I'd look like a failure I took her up on her offer. But she was right, "you make a good point. I'm barely functioning here, and useless in the lab. If you don't mind … I'll take you up on this, but on one condition."

She smiled. "And what would that be? To keep this from Psylocke?"

I laughed, "You don't have to read my mind to know that one…"

Jean gave a resolved smile. She promised she wouldn't tell my master, my mother, my mentor, that I was bailing on training and studies for two days. I took my white frock off, and left the lab.

I woke up, suddenly, my kinetic knife ready in my hand. It was just a dream, I kept telling myself.

Then I heard a bang.

Pyslocke kicked the door down, and ran to my closet. She grabbed my training uniform and threw it at me, "Get up, ace! We're being attacked. It's the Marauders. Suit up and let's go."

I took my pajamas off immediately and slipped into my leather fight suit. Pulling on the collar, always too tight around my neck, and slipped on my boots, and wrapped my steel Kanata around my hip. 'Always more deadly with metal and psychic energy, if you ask me," Pyslock would advise, in the reason for keeping a real Kanata on her. I ran as fast as I could with Pyslocke towards the explosions.

Colossus had beaten us to it. He was holding off the Marauders. They had never come this far, into the Professor's school. They had to be out for blood. I created a kinetic rope, and wrapped it around Prism's neck, attacking from behind. I pulled as hard as I could, trying to strangle him, but his body crystallized, resisting my energy attack. He grabbed my rope and pulled me towards him. I pulled my Kanata out, as I was dragged on the floor towards him, and hit his arm as hard as I could. He leaped back in pain, and returned to his normal state. I knew he couldn't handle a physical blow. I created a knife, and speedily attacked him again – he fell, quickly.

The three of us couldn't keep the marauders at bay. Where was everyone?

I shouldn't have taken those three seconds to watch my victim fall to the ground. I felt a claw embrace my neck and lift me up, choking me. I gasped for air; I was frantically looking for Pyslocke. I couldn't call for help. My vision blurred.

I hit the ground hard, the side of my head breaking my fall. I don't know how long I laid there until I felt foreign hands lifting my head into their lap. I was still struggling to breathe. _Is this death? Who is holding me? Are they helping me?_ I couldn't see anything but light. My whole body was shaking … this had to be it.

My body calmed itself, and everything went black. I felt someone close my eyes. _Yes, I'm dying,_ I thought. _Make the pain stop_.

And then there was nothing but darkness.

I woke suddenly, gasping for air. I shot up, frantically searched for my steel Katana. It was where it should be. I checked my body; I was still in my training uniform, my hair was down, disheveled, but all limbs were intact. Looking around, I realized I was sitting in a moss filled ditch.

"What in the hell?" I asked aloud to myself.

I slowly sat up, mindful of my surroundings. I looked over the ditch to see about twenty men in all white armor. Faces covered in masks. They saw me, pointed in my direction and started to run towards me with their guns. I had a choice: fight or flight. I chose flight. I ran as fast as I could into the forest. My body was rejecting me at the moment I needed it the most. _Please, please keep running_ , I asked of myself. They were gaining on me.

I ran into a clearing, and that's when I saw him, the man in the mask and the dark robes. I stopped. I turned my head, and the men in white had stopped behind me too.

 _Why are they stopping? Are they afraid of him? Should I be afraid?_

He started to make his way toward me. Once he got too close, I drew my sword and pointed it towards him.

"I wouldn't come any closer," I warned.

We stared at one another for three seconds. He drew his red, flamed weapon, slicing my steel Kanata in half, before he could bring it back towards me, extending my kinetic knife from my hand. I held it there, trying not to panic. He didn't move.

 _I'm not ready for this._

"That," said a muffled, calm voice, "is not a light saber."

I stared, determined not to break my poker face.

"No." I said.

We were at a standstill. I didn't have the strength and energy to fight. His head turned slightly to inspect my kinetic knife radiating from my hand, inches away from his neck.

He said something to the men in white.

I felt a shooting pain in my back. I was in shock at first, but distracted with the pain my knife retracted. I collapsed to my hands and knees, and my vision blurred. _No,_ I told my body, _no you have to fight this. Fight it._ I tried to crawl, but I was making no headway. I reached out for the black boots in front of me. He disappeared from my line of sight for a moment, but I could hear his steps behind me. He lifted me and began walking. I fell asleep, the image of the mask the last thing I saw.


	2. Chapter 2

I had been awake for some time. I sat upright on what could only be deemed as a cot. My wrists had been shackled. I hunched over, rubbing my temples and contemplating what exactly had happened. I looked down again at my restraints. I could get out of them, easily, but I thought it might be best to be perceived as weak.

The door opened. The man in the mask walked in, the door closing quickly behind him.

"My knight in shining armor," I smirked.

He stood a few paces away from me. Staring at me. I stared back, realizing what he was trying to do to me.

"You can't read my mind," I said, "and I can't seem to read yours either."

"We have a dilemma, now, don't we?" He said.

I leaned back a little, looking him up and down. He wasn't nearly as menacing as some mutants I had faced in the past.

"Is that a mask?" I asked. I honestly wasn't sure, I had seen so many forms of mutations in my life, and I didn't want to make any assumptions.

He walked towards me and bent down on one knee in front of me. I heard a hissing sound, and he reached up, removing the mask. He was much younger than I had imagined. His hair was thick, wavy, and his skin was so pale it nearly compared to mine. With the removal of the mask, I finally felt as though I was on par with him. _I could take him_ , I thought. But there was something about his eyes; they were sad, but filled with darkness. He looked directly into my eyes.

"You're still trying to read my mind. It won't work. I don't know what your mutant powers are, but –"

He cut me off.

"I am not a mutant. What I am doesn't matter. I'm here to talk to you. I came here to tell you that you shouldn't be afraid of me. I can already see that you've grown past that."

I smiled. I was afraid, but he couldn't confirm that. He reached up to my hands, admiring the shackles.

"I suspect these didn't do much for you," He said, unfastening them, "But I trust you will continue to be on your best behavior. You're a guest here, not a prisoner. But I am cautioning you … that can easily change."

I leaned into him, bringing myself closer to his face.

"What exactly do you want from me, and what makes you think I'll stay without a fight?" I asked.

There was no doubt I found him attractive. I studied the scar on his face, and his lips. I hadn't been with anyone in some time, and my heart started racing. Our faces were within inches of touching.

"What I want from you will come in due time. You will stay, and you will be fed, sheltered, and clothed." I didn't have to read his mind to know that hospitality wasn't one of his primary personality traits.

He reached up, grabbing tiny pieces of moss out of the strands of my hair, smirking while adding, "… You can even shower."

He was making fun of the state I was in. This was a power move. I can't imagine I looked my Sunday best, but it wasn't exactly a priority for me. I think I knew how to get him off his game.

"Well then …" I leaned as closely to his face as I could without touching him, "will you be personally escorting me into the shower?"

It worked. His eyes shifted to the ground, a faint color washed over his once pale face. I watched him closely as he clenched his jaw; I refused to move my gaze away from his face. The ball was in my court.

He shifted back a bit, straightening himself up, and putting more distance between us. He was thinking about his next move. The silence was becoming unnerving, until he leaned back in and put one hand on my knee. My body started to warm under his touch.

"You are a guest here –" He wasn't fast enough. I quickly wrapped his neck with my kinetic whip. He struggled, as I stood over him. He sent the metal shackles towards me with his telekinetic powers; I raised my hands to stop them, dropping them to the floor. His hands gripped at the whip, I tried to tighten them even more.

"You're a fool," I said. "I'm not going down without a fight."

He released one of his hands, and before I could move quickly enough, he ignited his red sword. It slashed against my whip, releasing his neck. I quickly morphed the whip into a Kanata. He was still on the ground, our weapons clashed together. He was strong, too strong. He pushed me back hard, and I stumbled backwards. He lunged towards me again, our swords clashed. He pushed against me as hard as he could, and it took every ounce of strength in me to keep him at bay.

"What's your name?" I asked through gritted teeth.

He stared at me, angry, "Kylo Ren."

"Nice," I said, "I'm Ace."

I kicked him in the abdomen as hard as I could. He faltered. Our swords were still drawn, we stared at one another. I didn't know how this would end, I didn't know if I should give in now, this was a small room, and I didn't know what was behind the door. I don't stand a chance, and I need to develop a much more intelligible plan to escape and get home. Not to mention he was strong. I only had a few seconds to decide if my initial attack had been a mistake. These were his stomping grounds, his climate, and his terrain. I was the alien. I didn't stand a chance, and I had made a mistake.

I slowly withdrew my kinetic katana, and lowered myself to my knees, placing my hands behind my head.

"You're giving in? So soon?" He asked, towering over me. His weapon was still drawn; I could feel the heat from it buzzing next to my ear.

"I'm surrendering. This is only a battle, Kylo, not the war. Besides … I need a shower," I responded.

Kylo put his weapon away. He knelt down and grabbed my face, pulling it towards his, "I need to be able to trust you," I tried to look away as he spoke, his grip on my chin was too much, pulling my gaze back to match his, "If this happens again, I won't be as forgiving."

He released me and exited the room. I lowered myself down on the floor, lying flat on my back, and turning my cheek to coolness of the floor. It was a place of comfortable, my position of failure. I couldn't defeat my master in the Danger Room – how was I going to defeat him and get out of here?

I stayed on that floor for what felt like an eternity.

Kylo came back. I had fallen asleep on the floor. His mask was still off, the way I preferred it. I didn't move to greet him. He stepped over me, aggressively grabbing my arms; I fought him a bit, as he placed a metal band on each wrist.

"This will keep you at bay," He said. "Go ahead, try to use your powers."

I couldn't create anything with my powers. Bursts of purple energy would come out, but I couldn't form anything.

"Well aren't you smart. Did you just whip these up yourself?" I asked, sitting up.

He knelt down to face me, "I made them for myself years ago. If I ever turned my back against the First Order, I wanted my master to be able to bring me to my senses without a fight."

"They're uncomfortable."

"Until I can trust you, you get to wear them. Think of that next time you try to choke me."

I made my way up to a standing position, and he followed suit. Kylo towered over me with his broad shoulders.

"I'm more than my powers, Ren. I'm trained to fight," I warned.

"I know, and I'm impressed. You're quick, very quick."

"Not quick enough it would seem…" my voice drifted as I turned to the cot. "So if I'm a guest, is this the penthouse suite?"

He looked relieved. "I have a more … comfortable place for you to stay. Have you come to your senses?"

"For now. I can't see the future, you took away my ability to do so." I couldn't tell if he was impressed or annoyed. I gave him a sarcastic smile, sarcasm being a power he couldn't take away from me. He shook his head and put a hand on my shoulder, leading me to the hallway.


	3. Chapter 3

Kylo had passed me off to what I now know as Stormtroopers. They took me to what I imagine would be my new "residence" but it didn't fall too far from the room I had previously been in. I had a shower, and put on some temporary clothes, which can only be described as cargo pants and black ribbed shirt until my X-Men uniform was clean. I checked out the metal bracelets wrapped around my wrists, wondering what metal they were made of, how I can get them off, and would they rust after getting wet?

I stood in the room, looking around. It was windowless, but at least the bed looked decent, and I of course, had a washroom. I was admiring the crevasses in the ceiling, towel drying off my hair, when the door opened. It was Kylo.

"Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ," I said, "don't you knock? I thought I was a guest? I could have been changing!"

He didn't care. "If you're hungry come with me." I wasn't hungry, but I wanted the opportunity to learn my surroundings and develop a plan to escape.

"Sure," I said without interest, "guess I'll have to let my hair air dry." I didn't really care; I wasn't here to make friends. I just wanted to be perceived as if this whole ordeal was an inconvenience as opposed to completely surreal.

I followed him through the maze of hallways. It all looked the same. I walked slowly behind him, taking it all in. His stride was quick, and he kept looking back at me, annoyed.

We took another two turns, and I was lead into what appeared to be a dining hall. I didn't see any Stormtroopers. This was clearly for the higher ups. But what caught my attention was the window. We were in space.

"Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ…" I gasped.

I couldn't move.

"Fuck me," I said. The vulgarity caught his attention. "We aren't on land." I was screwed.

He grabbed my arm, pushing me towards a table, "Enough. Sit down. Eat. Then I want to talk to you."

There was soup. It wasn't anything I've ever had before, but I would suffice. Nobody seemed to acknowledge this new stranger to their world. They sat there, uniformed and uptight.

I turned to the woman next to me, "So … how are you?" She put her spoon down in the bowl, clearly annoyed. She turned to me, "I'm fine. You must be the … new … addition." She seemed disgusted by my presence. I smiled. She turned back to her soup. I felt like I was in the eighth grade all over again, slightly overweight, frumpy and with untamed hair. I wasn't overweight anymore, but I looked down to my clothes and air-dried hair, and it really hit home. After finishing the space soup, I turned back to her, "well, it was nice to meet you." I stood up and headed to the hallway. I at least knew how to get back to my room.

As I walked down the hall, I saw the Stormtroopers with a young boy, his face drained of blood. Their guns aimed at him, as they pushed him down the hallway. I quickly darted to an adjacent hallway, watching the scene unfold. He was in an orange jumper with a white vest, his nose bloodied and his wrists handcuffed together. I noticed a black symbol over his heart, but was unsure of what it meant.

He was just a child, no older than fifteen, and the look on his face suggested he felt death was imminent. I looked down at my wrists. If I could get these off, I could help him.

They vanished around the corner, and I started my way down the hallway at a quicker pace. I ran into a Stormtrooper, and grabbed him by the arm, "Where can I find Kylo Ren?" He looked down at my hand on his forearm, "Down the hall. To the left." I let go and followed his directions.

"K.R." I said, "This must be it." I hit the button on the door, and he was there, sitting on the floor, cross-legged, meditating in dim light.

"Let that boy go," I demanded. His eyes opened and he let out a small laugh.

"The pilot? No." He said coolly.

"He's a child. Let him go –" he cut me off, "Children turn into men. Men are dangerous. He'll be tortured for information and then killed. One less resistance fighter to worry about."

I was astounded by this, "He's a child, and he deserves to live." Kylo stood up, waived his hand and closed the door. He walked closer to me, and my heart began to race. I could feel his face close to mine again, a now familiar feeling. "Why does he deserve to live? He picked a side, and he's losing. You're a trained fighter, you should know this."

He was right. There were causalities in any war, and I had been dropped in the middle of it.

"First, I'm not just a 'fighter'. I am trained in the art of the samurai," I said, as coolly as I could, "Second, you've extended me mercy, now show it to him too."

"You do have power. Phenomenal power. I have a use for you. He may only have information pertaining to the location of where the resistance's base might be. And when I get it, he can't live."

"You want my trust?" I asked.

"Yes, and I want you to trust me too."

"Okay," I said, "Take these off and I'll show you everything." I raised my wrists, bumping them accidently into his abdomen in the darkness. I started to pull them back, but he grabbed my hands with his. It felt electric. I felt them unhinge, and they hit the floor with a bang. He was still holding my hands. I took his hands and raised them to my temples.

I gave him a glimpse into my life. I showed him the last year, my training with Psylocke, and studying at the university under Beast. I wanted him to see other mutants like me and the world that I came from. I wanted to show him that I needed to go home.

I looked at his face as I pulled his hands down from my temples. He didn't release my hands, instead, I could feel them wrap tighter around mine.

"No, I … you've lived … I don't know where you're from … there are so many of you, and … it's different. It's like you're a Jedi … but there's … I'm trying to understand … " He was confused.

"There are over 6 billion people where I come from, and I'm not sure if it's anywhere close to where we are in space right now. Out of those 6 billion … at least half are mutants. And we're all different. Listen, I'll help you with your task – whatever it is – if you help me get home… and let that boy go," I added.

He was quiet, but his hands still held mine.

"You can trust me," I said.

"I was born Ben Solo."

"Quinn MacTaggert."

His hands moved up my forearms, gently, and he pulled me in closer, "Let me be your teacher, train you for what I need your help to accomplish – and I'll get you home."

I smiled, "I don't need you to be my teacher. I have one back home, and another lined up. After I passed my exams, I was supposed to head off to Japan to train with another master. I appreciate the offer, but I think I'll be fine."

His eyes searched mine, hands still holding wrapped around mine. I wasn't sure what to make of this. "I'll need you to infiltrate the resistance base and retrieve a map. You'll need me to teach you. You're in my world now. You'll need all the help you can get."

He pulled me closer to him, "Let me teach you," he whispered, his lips coming closer to mine. "I dreamt of you…" I said. "I dreamt of you too…" Our lips locked. My body lit up, my kinetic energy shot through every nerve of my being. I could feel him melt into me as we kissed. Every fiber of my body was telling me that this was wrong, he was the bad guy in this story, and I can't fall for the bad guy. I quickly broke the kiss, our eyes still interlocked.

"I … uh …" I started.

"I have something for you."

He let go of me and walked over to a wardrobe. Opening it, he pulled out something and began to walk back to me. "I had it fixed after our first meeting." He handed me my katana and it's sheath. I grabbed it, in awe. I didn't think I'd ever see it again, let alone in one piece. I sat down, in front of him, cross-legged on the floor. I slowly unsheathed the sword, inspecting the insignia with familiarity. Once I had it unsheathed, I investigated the steel looking for the mark that had initially pieced it in half. There were no signs of it being split in half by Kylo Ren's weapon.

I looked up at him, "Why? How?"

"I figured you'd need it. But now you know it's no match for my light saber. Only your other powers are. Use it appropriately," He answered.

"What appropriately? My katana or my powers?"

He smirked, "Both."

I put it back in it's sheath, adjusting the strap of it's holding and putting it over my shoulder, where it rightfully belonged. I already felt like I had a piece of home with me.

"This makes you happy," He said.

I tried to prevent myself from smiling, which likely resulted in pursed lips, "Yeah … it does. Thank you."

"Your welcome," his words sounded strained as he spoke them. I don't think he was used to being polite.

I walked up to him and reached my arm around his neck, bringing him to me. I kissed him, hard. This surprised him. I pulled away, "Listen, I don't mean to be hot for teacher, but we probably shouldn't do this again … you know … if you're 'teaching' me and all…" I suggested.

"Mmm," was all he mumbled before he kissing me again.

It seemed to last forever, when my head told my heart to come up for air. "Okay, okay …" I said, melting into his hands that rested on my hips. "We train tomorrow. Bring me people to fight, you included. No light sabers, no powers, just hand to hand, and steel to steel."

"Okay," He said, bringing me into him, holding me. I hadn't been touched like this in so long. Too overwhelmed by training, studying, there was no time for men other than the odd hook-up while out drinking with Psylocke. It was nice to be held, and judging from his body language, I think he needed to be held too.

Our bodies in sync, we let each other go. I started to make my way out of his room, "I'll see you tomorrow. Get a good sleep, because I'll be kicking your ass tomorrow," I warned.

I didn't wait for a response and exited the room. Walking down the hall to my room, all I could think of was what he said, about dreaming of me too. Did we meet before in our dreams, in the forest? Or was it a premonition? Regardless, I knew who sent me here. It had to be Psylocke, and now that I had freedom to use my powers, I would try to contact her and Professor Xavier through telepathy tonight. I had to let them know I was alive, and where to find me. I couldn't trust anyone here to get me home, and I certainly couldn't trust myself after that kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

I was sitting on snow-covered ground, staring at two moons in the evening sky. One moon was waxing, the other waning. I took my katana off my back and set it beside me as I extended my legs. I picked up a flower that had survived the frost with my bloody hands. My heart felt heavy.

* * *

I woke up. It wasn't a dream; it was a premonition. I turned over to look at the clock. 6am. I spent the majority of the night meditating, trying to reach Psylocke and Professor Xavier, in an attempt to let them know that I was alive and where to find me. I have no confirmation that they heard me, but I could only keep trying.

I sat up in my bed, and tossed my hair into a messy bun. I was hungry, and under caffeinated. I needed sustenance before bracing myself for the day ahead. I grabbed my black pants from my X-Men uniform and put them on. A mix of leather and spandex. I put on my boots, but didn't put on my jacket. A white t-shirt it is. I made my way into the hallway when I ran into a rather tall Stormtrooper. Not dressed like the others, more of a metallic uniform, with a long cape, as opposed to the what seemed like the utilitarian white. This trooper, in particular, was most certainly a woman.

"Where are you going?" She demanded to know.

"Just … headed for food. Is that alright?" I started to make my way past her without her permission. I wasn't in the mood. Before I could get very far, she had grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I looked down at it.

"You are to come with me," She said. I wasn't having it.

"I'm going to ask you once, and only once," I began, "let go of my arm." We stared at each other for some time. I made sure every ounce of dissatisfaction was written on my face. She slowly let go, "That's better."

She turned, and I followed her. Here we go again, walking towards another mystery destination. I desperately needed to eat. We stopped in front of a door, and she opened it, ushering me in first. In the room, sitting at a table, was Kylo and another man. The man was eating, while Kylo watched, leaning back in his chair.

"Thank you, Captain Phasma, for retrieving our guest," the uniformed man waived to dismiss her. She nodded, and left. I approached the table, grabbed whatever bread-like carbohydrate, and shoved it into my mouth before sitting down. Kylo avoided looking at me. I turned to the new man, a mouth full of food, "So who's the ginger?" I asked.

Kylo smirked, but the ginger looked displeased, "I am General Hux. I command the Finalizer, the Flagship of the First Order."

I leaned into the table, finishing off my bread, "I have no idea what that means." I could see the smoke coming out of his ears. He didn't like me, "So this is what you just had to pick up, Ren?"

Kylo reached for the bread, and began to eat as well, "Yes. You'll see why. Ignore the sass, there's more to it, I can assure you."

I couldn't help but let out a small smile. He did too. Hux took note of this, "I can't help but think she's more of a distraction, than a key operative in our cause." Kylo ignored him, and continued to look at me. It had only been hours since I was in his arms, and I wanted him even more now.

"Tea?" Hux broke our staring contest, and passed the pot over to me. I thanked him, and poured myself some tea as I slyly glanced back at Kylo.

"I'm not entirely sure what you're 'cause' is, General, though it wouldn't be hard for me to figure that out. I also don't know the political landscape in which I have literally landed in, and I sense that I wouldn't be a supporter of whatever it is your doing if this were my home. That said, if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours," I assured.

Hux stared at me, unsure of how to respond. I sat back in my chair, "Now, I understand you have subordinates for me to hurt?"

* * *

Training was a waste of time. These soldiers didn't know how to fight, and I doubt they could shoot a still target either. I took them down, one by one, without using my powers. This was too easy. I knew General Hux, Phasma and Kylo Ren were watching me behind a two-way mirror. After I took down the last few troopers, I walked over to it.

"Come out to play, Ren," I banged on the window. The door in which the storm troopers hobbled out of opened, and in walked Ren, "You're done for the day."

He turned and walked away as quickly as he came in. I went after him, "Excuse me? What the hell! You make me fight children in that room all day long for what?" I was furious, yelling and trailing behind him. "You're wasting my time, Ren!" He turned around, and grabbed me by my shoulders, "You will listen to me, and you will obey me. Enough of this childish behavior!" He shouted. I raised my arms and pushed his hands off my shoulders, "Don't you touch me!"

We weren't alone and had drawn an audience. People had stopped to watch our small explosions. He grabbed my right arm so hard it hurt. I flinched, "You look a bit tired," he said through gritted teeth as he dragged me down the hall, "And you look a bit evil," I retorted.

He opened the door to his room, and pushed me inside where I assume he could reprimand me without witnesses.

"You are night and day, Quinn! Your attitude today, from start to finish, has been unacceptable!" He shouted at me, as he paced the room. I was furious, tired, and hungry. I took my katana off my back and threw it to the ground and stormed up to him, "I am not an experiment. I am not someone you lock in a room and watch, observing like a lab rat!"

"You have been here for less than 72 hours, and I have been nothing but patient with you!" He yelled.

"Patient? In less than 72 hours, you have physically beaten me down, kissed me, and trained me to exhaustion! You're not fooling me, Ren, I am a prisoner here!"

He grabbed me and kissed me, hard, passionately. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling him harden beneath me. He walked us over to the bed, where he put me down on my back, my legs still wrapped around him. Once we finished fumbling with each other's clothes, we took each other, in an urgent silence, thrusting fiercely, his hard body pressing against me. We finished within moments.

"I suppose I should get dressed…" I broke the silence; unsure of what to say as we stared at each other, still embraced. He moved onto his side, running his arm up my naked back, causing me to shiver under his touch. "You don't have to go," he said. I smiled, pulling a sheet up and over me, out of sudden embarrassment. "I've made some terrible decisions since I've come here," I looked away from him, "I should go."

I sat up, my eyes darting for my clothes, when he sat up and cupped my face with his hand, "I have never been more drawn to someone before. There is something about you that just … neutralizes me. I don't feel a pull … this constant pull between the darkness and the light … you calm me," I felt this was the first time I felt he was truly being honest with me.

I leaned in and kissed him, gently, "My first instinct, in the forest, and again in my prison, was to kill you. But then the more I learned about you, the more … curious I became. And now here we are. I'm in your bed."

He wrapped his arms around me, and slowly pulled me back to him, laying us both down in his bed. I couldn't bring my eyes to meet his. I felt this odd sense of calmness, but it coincided with this feeling of shame.

"Stay with me here, tonight," He asked of me.

I didn't respond, instead I traced my hand down his abdomen to a scar. I looked up at him to see sadness. I instinctively kissed him, hoping to make whatever pain he was feeling go away, albeit I wasn't sure why I cared in the first place.

"Okay, I'll stay. But I won't like it."

"I think you will."

Needless to say, I continued making bad decisions for the rest of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a week since I first landed myself in Kylo Ren's bed. Discretely, we continued to rendezvous every evening. Ignoring each other throughout the day, we would keep up the public notion that we hated one another immensely. And every night, we would give into each other entirely.

I had over trained and under slept when I had nearly met my end by the hands of Captain Phasma. After an embarrassing near defeat, I hobbled to my room, holding my ribs, fairly certain that they had been cracked. I may have been quick, but she was strong. I could hear my ribs crack underneath her foot as she kicked me hard. I ended up taking her out by using my mutant abilities. I had avoided the use of my powers to conceal the extent of my abilities to Kylo Ren's counterparts. I genuinely feared for my life, and a kinetic whip around her neck eventually prevented her from ending me.

As I sat on my bed, I lifted up my shirt to inspect the damage. It hurt to touch, and would most certainly bruise. I needed medical attention. Although I was enjoying screwing around with Kylo, I needed to get out of here. I reassured myself it had been just over a week since I sent my call for help to Psylocke and Xavier, there had to be hope yet.

I brought my legs up onto the bed and lay in the fetal position. I needed to sleep. Just as I was about to fall into a pain-induced rest when the door opened. My eyes fluttered open and Ren walked in looking concerned.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He sat on the bed with me, and lifted up my shirt. "It could be worse," He assured. I nodded in agreement. I reached out and grabbed his gloved hand, "I need to go home." I was pleading.

"Not yet."

I felt as low as ever. A wave of hopelessness rushed through me. It was all fun and games until another near death experience. I lay there, holding his hand, staring at our entwined fingers, reminiscing of our conversations together throughout the week, sharing anecdotes about one another after our intimacy. The previous night, he told me how he had discovered his abilities as a child and eventually trained with a powerful Jedi. He stopped short of telling me anything further. I didn't have to read his mind to know that often, his happy memories quickly faded into pain and sadness. I thought perhaps now, he should know how I found out I had abilities as well.

"My father disappeared when I was about seven years old. He was an archeologist working in Central America. His team was digging up what they thought was an undiscovered Mayan ruin. I don't know what happened. All I know is that he didn't come back."

I turned onto my back, still holding his hand, as he kept his eyes to mine, listening.

"I think he left us. My aunt Moira says otherwise; she tells me that he was a man of integrity. He was a Scot, so … quite stubborn," I said smiling. I continued, "I think he left us because it turns out my mother was addicted to drugs. I came home from school one day and she was on the couch, unresponsive. The needle was on the floor. Seeing her body elicited a reaction in me. Objects in our living room flew around, some exploded. I went to school a few days later and that's when I knew something was wrong with me. I could hear my peers' thoughts. I was the girl with the drug-addicted mother who overdosed. I had another breakdown in the girls' washroom. My Aunt Moira arrived shortly after my mom died, and took me back to DC with her. She raised me, and occasionally her friend would come around for tea and offered to take me to his school for gifted youth. I didn't really want anything to do with my mutant abilities, until Psylocke found me later in life. The rest is history."

Kylo shifted his body onto the bed to be next to me. We both turned on our sides to face one another, as he wrapped his arms around me, protective.

"I feel like you're revered here for your abilities, Kylo. Where I'm from … we're freaks."

"Then stay, and be revered here. Join the First Order. Fight with me." I was surprised to hear this. He kissed my forehead, and brought me in closer so my face nuzzled his neck.

"I'm an X-Man, Kylo, or at least I will be soon. " I moved my head into a more comfortable position.

"You're not going on the mission." I pulled away and looked up at him, shocked, "What do you mean?"

"I can't see you go. Not on the mission, not at all."

I sat up, wincing in pain. He propped himself up on his forearms. "What are you saying?" My voice was shaking.

He was trying to speak but couldn't verbalize his thoughts. He sat up and kissed me, but I pulled away. "Quinn … I am …"

"You care about me?" I thought by verbalizing it in a less intimidating form may make it easier for him.

He nodded.

I could not deny that I was falling head over heels in love with him. Despite my efforts, the more time I spent with him, the worse it got. I leaned in and met his lips again.

"I have to go," he said coolly. "I'll come check in on you later." He sat up, looked at me one last time, and left.

* * *

I must have been asleep for a few hours when the door opened suddenly. I rolled onto my side and murmured half asleep, "Back for more?"

"What?! Ace, get up! We gotta go! We don't have much time!" I recognized the voice immediately. My eyes shot open to see Psylocke and Cyclops standing over me. Psylocke grabbed my katana and leather jacket, "C'mon."

I sat up in excruciating pain. "Jesus Christ you're hurt. Fuck, I am so sorry!" Psylocke grabbed my arm and put it around her neck, helping me up.

"I'm okay to walk," I said.

"Okay good, because we may have to fight our way out of here."

"I said walk, not fight."

"Well at least your attitude hasn't changed," she joked.

We darted out the door. It wasn't long before a group of Stormtroopers approached us and began firing. Psylocke and I ducked, as Cyclops took them out. We started running (or, hobbling in my case) down the hallway.

"We have to get back to the ship. We all split up to find you."

"Who's we?" I asked.

More Stormtroopers appeared. "Hang on, I got these ones," Psylocke took them out in no time. I stood off to the side, clutching my ribs, watching. Cyclops held my arm, "Are you okay?"

"I think so… I just need a moment."

"We don't have a moment."

He picked me up, carrying me as he and Psylocke ran down the corridors. We ended up in a large hanger, home to what seemed like hundreds of ships. My X-Men cohort and others were in tow.

"We have to go, I don't think we can hold them off much further," a man in what appeared to be an orange jump suit, shouted at us.

"I can see the others, they're almost back," Professor Xavier replied to him.

We made our way towards the space ship, others followed. A young woman and Jean Grey were running back towards us. The young pilot boy was with them.

"Jean!" I shouted, just relieved to see another familiar face.

As they reached the halfway point from the entrance of the hanger to the ship, Kylo Ren appeared. His lightsaber was drawn, and he was moving objects to prevent the woman and Jean from reaching their destination. The woman had a lightsaber as well. She was wielding it to block debris, as Jean used her own telekinetic powers in return. I looked on frantically, and decided to make a run towards them in an effort to stop him.

"Stop!" I yelled to him, holding my side, barely able to stand upright.

"Ace! Get back here!" Psylocke shouted from the ship.

By now Jean and the woman had reached me. Kylo towered over us. The woman raised her lightsaber in defense, he came down on her with full force, she withstanding his efforts and holding him off. I inserted my kinetic katana between them. It took everything I had to remain upright. I turned to the woman telling her and Jean to go. She nodded and ran to the ship. Jean stayed, standing behind me.

Kylo put his lightsaber away and stood in front of me, angry and confused. I withdrew my kinetic power.

"No!" he shouted.

"I love you." I whispered to him.

Jean put a protective hand on my shoulder, "We have to go," she spoke quietly. He stood in front of me, staring at me as though I had ripped his heart out. Jean led us back to the ship.

He let us go.

* * *

I sat at a table with Jean and Psylocke on either side of me, and the young woman, Rey, across from me. The man in the orange and Beast were navigating the ship.

"He just let us go, without a fight, I don't understand," Psylocke pondered aloud.

"He wanted to fight. I don't know what you did, Quinn, but it's incredible we got out unscathed," Rey added.

I stared at the table and burst into tears. Psylocke went to comfort me, but I pushed her away.

"What happened to you there, Ace?"

"Nothing."

"It doesn't sound like nothing."

"Stay out of my head!" I could feel her begin to prod.

"Psylocke – she'll tell us when she's ready," Jean chimed in.

I held my head in my hands, searching my brain as to what my life had been like the past week and what I had done to deserve the affection shown to me by him. Perhaps I was wrong. Maybe I was the bad guy in this story.

* * *

Hours had passed after we landed at the resistance base on D'Qar. After being tended to, I wrapped a blanket around myself and walked to the edge of the base, sitting down on the grass, gazing at the lake, with my thoughts. I wasn't alone for long.

"Thank you for coming for me, Professor," I turned to him as he wheeled up to me.

"You do not need to thank me," He replied.

We sat in silence for a little longer. "Every time I look at you, I see Moira," I looked up at him, remembering how much he had loved my aunt, "It's uncanny, really."

"You really cared for her, didn't you?"

"I loved her. But it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes it just isn't."

Never could hide anything from Professor X.

"I'm sure I'll get over it," I smiled, trying to fight back tears.

"Take your time. But I thought I'd let you know that we will be staying to help the Resistance. They aided us in your rescue; we are going to return the favor. I think our abilities will be of great help to them."

I nodded, as he turned and left.


	6. Chapter 6

We had integrated ourselves well into the Resistance community. Rey, Finn and I quickly became friends. Psylocke and Poe became very much enamored with one another. My other comrades, Jean, Cyclops, Beast, Rogue, Gambit and Professor Xavier began to work closely with the Resistance leadership to develop a strategic and coordinated approach to fighting the First Order.

Though our team's integration into the daily lives of the Resistance was going smoothly, I found any reason to be alone, from feigning sickness to going off into the forest to be alone with my thoughts. I missed him, more than I thought I possibly could. I missed the way he kissed me with purpose and intensity. I missed his scent, and the texture of his hair. I did love him, and still would, but the more the Resistance spoke of the First Order, the more guilt I felt. I was right all along. He was the bad guy, and I had made a string of bad decisions. He was a monster that had to be stopped.

I had suited up for the day, and put my katana on my back. I would not make the mistake of being unprepared again. We were in the middle of a war, and I needed to be armed at all times. I walked down the hallway towards the War Room; we had a strategic meeting in ten minutes. I passed by so many unique souls, aliens, humans and droids. It was strange, but they made me feel completely normal about my own genetics. There was something that made this place feel like home, and I don't think I suspect I wasn't the only mutant here that felt these sentiments.

As I made my way towards the War Room, Psylocke appeared in front of me. I tried to ignore her by making a passive attempt to walk around her. She grabbed me, "We need to talk. You need to tell me what happened. I've given you your space, but enough is enough."

"I'm fine Psylocke, nothing happened. I'm here, I'm safe. Let's move on," I assured her.

"I'm not buying it, Ace. If you have post-traumatic stress, I need to know. I need to know that you're able to help us out there, in battle. You're not okay. I know when you're tired and overworked, but this is more than that."

"I am tired, and I am overworked and I need a break, okay? After we help the Resistance, and go home, I need a break. There, you have it. That's it," I started to make my way past her again.

"Jesus Christ, you're so full of shit!" She was in my head. I tried to fight her, to push her out. I couldn't let her see. I raised my hands to my head, trying to push her out, but she was too strong. "Get out, Psylocke!"

She saw everything. She saw myself with Kylo Ren in the forest, and subsequent violent encounter after I had been captured. She felt my feelings warm to him, and witnessed our arguments. She saw our lovemaking, and the ensuing moments of holding one another. She saw the smiling, the laughing and the kissing.

"You stupid girl!" Psylocke's hands were wrapped around my throat as she slammed me up against the wall, "What the hell were you thinking?!"

Poe and General Leia ran down the corridor after they heard the shouting. Professor Xavier, and the rest of the X-Men came from the other side.

"Psylocke, what is going on?" Professor asked. I had never seen her look at me the way with such anger and disappointment before. My face began to feel hot with embarrassment. She released her hold on me. "Quinn slept with that monster," she announced to everyone, at my expense. I felt shame. Everyone was quiet. "Not only did she sleep with him, she actually cares about him. Loves him! I did not train you for this. You were supposed to be better than this!"

I wasn't going to take it. "Better than this?" I moved towards her, "Better than this? Or better than you?" I could tell by her face that this could get violent fast, but I wasn't going to back down this time, "You have the audacity to call me stupid, and reckless, and that I ought to be better, because I started to care for someone? This coming from you! You! You nearly tore Cyclops and Jean a part with your affair! And as for the rest of you … you all think you're better than me? Rogue, you put a woman in a coma! Cyclops, you played an equal part with this one here. Jean, you have killed a lot of people – or at least – your alter ego has! And we forgave you! Xavier … you broke my Aunt's heart! She loved you, and you broke her heart when you ended your engagement. And I forgave you!"

I was furious, and taking a fight that belonged to Psylocke and I out on everyone else.

"That man has blood on his hands, Ace. He is responsible for killing millions!" Psylocke pushed me back again. "And I know that! I get it, okay? I made a mistake. He's a monster!"

"He is not a monster." An interjection came from the General. We turned to her; surprised she had chimed into our personal drama. "He is my son."

My mouth dropped. I was gaping, and red with embarrassment. The General approached me, reaching for my hand and held it. Psylocke stood across from us, fuming. General Leia spoke to us all, "You are all missing the point. There isn't just good and bad, dark and light. There is a grey area. My son knows how to love, and that's what plagues him. He struggles between the dark and the light because he is capable of love. He has done things that are unforgiveable. But there is hope in him yet." The General took me in her embrace. I hugged her back, gripping her jacket, still filled with shame.

"General, I brought my team here for one rescue mission. We agreed to help the Resistance, but we cannot promise the safe return of your son," Xavier piped in. Leia released our embrace and turned to him, "No, Professor, I am not asking you to save him. This is a war, and I'm far from ignorant of that. What we need to do, regardless, is minimize casualties on both sides."

"Very well. I think we should all put aside our differences, if only for a few hours, and focus on the task at hand. General, after you," Professor Xavier motioned his hand towards the War Room down the hall. Leia and Xavier led the team down the hall, but I stood back with Psylocke, hanging my head in shame as my teammates passed me. After all that I had said, my outburst, it was childish of me to bring it up.

"I need time to think," Psylocke had crossed her arms and started for the War Room, "We'll discuss later. I can't look at you right now, Ace."

* * *

I had retreated to my lodgings and remained there for the rest of the day. I stared at the ceiling, reliving the confrontation earlier, filled with anxiety and shame. I unzipped my jacket and raised my white tank up to inspect my stomach. The bandages had been removed the day before, and the bruising was starting to minimize. I began to doze off.

* * *

I was back on that snow-covered hill I had dreamt of before. My katana next to me, covered in blood, the stars and the moons shining bright. I picked up the lonely flower once again, inspecting its extraordinary ability to live through the cold.

"My friend," a voice came from behind. I turned my head to see Kylo Ren. He, too, appeared as though he had just been in a bloody battle. "May I join you?"

"… Yes," Was this really happening?

"I've been trying to reach you since you left," He said.

"Where are we? I'm dreaming, no?"

"Yes. It's the safest place to meet."

"I have a problem, Ren," I started, as he walked towards me, "You see … I've come to learn a lot about you since leaving. Your actions are … unforgiveable. Reprehensible. I can't do this."

He kept coming towards me; I held my arm out as a warning for him to stop. "Ren, I mean it … I can't do this." My heart was racing. He ignored my protest, and cupped my face in his hands, "You knew what I was the first time you kissed me. You knew what I was when you slept with me." I tried to pull away but he refused to let me go, "I didn't know to what extent! You killed your own father…" He grabbed my face harder, and leaned in, "You of all people know that family can disappoint you, that they can hold you back! That their mistakes, and their choices live with you forever!"

He was right I did know, but I also didn't take my mother or my fathers lives. "That's not fair. Don't compare me to you. I … I love you but I can't be with you."

He fell to his knees in the snow. Grabbing my hands, he lowered his head and kissed them. "I'm a monster," he whispered. "I fight it everyday. I can't take back the things I've done." I kneeled down in front of him, "You can leave. You can come back to us." He shook his head, "No, I can't. If I left the First Order, I would be hunted. The Resistance wouldn't do me any favors either." I sighed, "but your mother is the General. I'm sure there's some sort of … pardon system?" I was naïve. He shook his head again.

"We could run away," I couldn't believe I was saying this. He looked up at me; tears had formed and were streaming down his faces, trailing down along his scar, his lips were trembling. "I can't ask you to live the life of a fugitive." I kissed him. "The thing is, I'm not really living a life at all. I'm living a life that other people want. I want to run away, and I have wanted to do so for a very long time."

We were both in tears now. He kissed me again, "Are you sure?" I laughed, "Not really. Truthfully, I thought this whole thing was just physical, and yet here we are, meeting in our dreams, hatching an escape plan." We embraced one another once again.

"Meet me here tomorrow night, and we'll devise a plan. We will be together again," He promised. He stood up and walked towards the forest. He disappeared and I woke up.

* * *

Poe and I were in the hanger the next morning discussing about a potential flight plan for his next mission, when I heard Psylocke shout my name. She was on the other end of the hanger, her katana drawn.

"Jesus Christ," I muttered to Poe. "What's going on with you two?" I sighed, turning my head to him, "She wants to kick my ass to get some validation from yesterday. She's going to disguise it as a 'learning opportunity' but it's a bunch of bullshit." He laughed, looking at the woman across the way, admiring her revealing X-Men uniform. "Don't fall too hard, Poe. She'll destroy you," I said as I walked towards her, drawing my katana. "You want to do this now? Here? Really?" She didn't smile, her face remained stern, "Well you're feeling better aren't you?"

Our katanas clashed, and we fought each other aggressively in the open hanger. I may have been recovering from an injury, but I had also been training extensively with individuals who I had not fought before leading up to this. I was quicker than her, knocking her over. She was on her back, and her katana was out of reach. I looked up, and Rogue was standing next to Poe, observing.

"Everything okay, you two?" Rogue asked. "We're fine," I gave Psylocke my hand to help her up. Her face was still cloaked in anger, despite my olive branch. She jumped up, and kicked my katana out of my right hand. She came at me with her mutant powers in force, but I blocked her with mine. We held our kinetic swords up against each other; I tried to push back. "Rogue, this needs to stop…" Poe was concerned, as he should be, for I have never had Psylocke come at me this aggressively before. We were at an impasse; our strengths and abilities matched. Psylocke realized this, and she left go and kicked me in the stomach, re-breaking my left rib cage. I gasped for air and fell to the floor, onto my hands.

Rogue came running over and put Psylocke in a hold. "What the hell, woman! What is your problem?" She shouted at her. I don't know if she said anything, my vision blurred as I coughed up vomit. All I knew was that Rogue had removed her from the hanger.

Poe had his hand on my back, asking me if I was okay. I was stunned, in pain, "I'll be fine." I stood up, using Poe as my stability. Once I knew I could stand on my own, I used my telekinetic abilities to reach for my katana. It came back to me, and I placed it back in its sheath.

"I … need to be alone, Poe." He looked at me, clearly concerned, "Are you sure? You should see the medical officer here to get checked." I winced as I started to hobble out of the hanger, "I will later."

I walked as far as I could without looking back. I needed to get away from everyone. Psylocke would never forgive me for my indiscretion turned romance. I made my way into the forest, like a wounded animal going off to die in peace. I slumped down against a tree, watching the sunset and fading in and out of consciousness.

"Quinn … Quinn …" I opened my eyes to see a dark mask. My eyes shot open, but in too much pain to reach for my katana, I used my powers instead, drawing out my weapon, barely able to hold my arm up. Kylo removed his mask. "I'm dreaming … I'm dreaming." My world was a haze, "I'm dying. I have eternal bleeding, I'm dying. He grabbed my face, "Quinn, snap out of it. You're freaking out. You aren't bleeding internally." I muttered a small laugh, "I'm freaking out? You're the King of freaking out…" he wasn't impressed. "Why am I in so much pain in my dreams? Why do I hurt on the outside?" I looked into his eyes, bringing my good arm up to touch his face, "God you're so real this time."

He took my hand and kissed it, "Because I am real. I'm here. I felt your pain, and I had to come. I'm here alone. Look, it won't be long before either of our sides takes notice that we're gone."

I sobbed uncontrollably; he wrapped his cloak around me and held me like a child that had just fallen and scraped her knees. "Why does she hate me?" I cried. "She doesn't hate you. She hates me." This was more about him than it was ever about me. My tears soaked his arm, I was at my most vulnerable, but I couldn't stop. "I love you," he whispered to me, resting his head on mine. It only made me cry harder. I continued to cry as he made hushing sounds, and kissed my head. "Can you walk?" I nodded. He helped me stand up slowly, but I cried out in pain as I straightened myself up. "Okay, we'll do this my way," he picked me up, holding me in both arms. I turned my body towards him, clutching my side, still crying. The last I remember is Ren walking us deeper into the forest. We were running away.


	7. Chapter 7

I drifted in and out of consciousness, lips caressing my neck. My brain refused to let my eyes open; fearing the immediate brightness from the sun would be too much. Ren's body was next to mine, warming me amidst the sea of bedding. This comfort made me question whether or not I survived the ordeal back on D'Qar.

The kisses turned into a gentle sucking, causing me to giggle like a schoolgirl. "Mmmph." I turned my head over to face him and slowly opened my eyes, adjusting to the light. "I thought it was time you woke up," he placed a hand on my naked thigh. I was in an oversized shirt, and had been freshly bandaged. "How long was I out for?" His hand continued to creep up my leg, reaching its destination. My body contorted as he began to play with me. "Two days," he breathed into my ear. "That's … ahh … long … time …" he nodded, positioning himself over of me. "Feeling better?" He asked, making sure before he continued, "Yes … especially now." I grabbed his hips and pulled him towards me. We had weeks of catching up to do.

* * *

Kylo stood on the balcony, not far from where we slept, basking in the sunlight. I made my way over to him with a blanket wrapped around me to keep warm. Beyond the balcony was a place that contained so much beauty. There was a waterfall across the lake located below the balcony, and greenery for miles to see. "Where are we?"

"Naboo. We're safe here for now." I looked to him, examining the unfamiliar clothes. He was wearing his familiar black pants, but his suspenders hung onto his hips casually, but it was the cream linen shirt and black vest that softened his usual menaced appearance. He was relaxed, calm and perhaps even happy.

"My grandmother was elected as Queen here when she was fourteen. As a Queen, and as a Senator, she led Naboo through … difficult times. To this day she's celebrated. This is one of her cabins. But you should know the politics of Naboo is friendly to the old empire. I'm not sure how long we can stay before I'm recognized." I tugged on his vest to inspect the material, "Is that why you're disguised?" He smiled and adjusted the blanket around my shoulders, "No." I leaned in and hugged him, resting my head against his chest. "So this is what running away is like. This is what bliss felt like." His chest rose and he let out a large sigh, pulling away from our embrace to face me, grabbing my hands and placing his forehead on mine. His palms started to sweat, and his face flushed. "Marry me."

This was unexpected. My heart began to race at the prospect of marriage after such a short-term affair. It was clear that my silence was unsettling to him, but I needed to think and do so quickly enough to give him a satisfying response. I still clung to the traditionalist notion that I would be married once and only once, and pump out children and raise them in the suburbs of some metropolitan area. As much as a feminist as I had strived to be, I still longed for the archaic and romantic traditions of marriage and family, perhaps to make up for my own personal family failures.

In the midst of spinning thoughts and analytics which would likely lead to an existential crisis, Ben pulled a gold ring from his pocket. He had been thinking about this far longer than I had. This man embodied the struggle between good and evil, heavy on the evil, and he wanted me to love him and love him forever. I had left my X-Men to be with him, and he had, as far as I could tell, left the First Order to be with me. "Are you sure?" I asked. He toyed with the ring between his fingers, calculating whether or not he should make an attempt to place it on my hand that I had yet to offer to him.

"I have never been more sure of anything." The ring made its way between his fingers, back and forth. I grabbed his hand, forcing him to stop. "Ben … this has to be real. For me … this is it … if I say yes … it means … you and me forever. I … I don't want this to be a game to you or some political maneuvering."

"It's not. I want this to be forever." He was being truthful. It was a rare occasion, but I knew I had to look into his mind to see if his intentions were true.

"Aren't you supposed to get down on one knee or something?" I asked. He looked at me and grinned, "Am I?"

"Well, in my culture it's a tradition." So he did, and placed the ring on my left hand. I pulled away and started laughing to myself, looking like a crazy person, "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, you just … you have this way of normalizing this bat-shit crazy … situation? I don't know what to even call this. Whatever it is, this is just not normal." He stood up and grabbed my shoulders forcing me to meet his eyes, "This is my normal. This place is my normal, and I want you to be a part of it. Being with you has allowed me to escape what wasn't normal."

I took in a few large breaths, nodding, "Okay. Let's do it tomorrow then."

And so we did. We were married on his grandmother's property, with the groundskeeper as our witness. I wore, what we both assumed to be, his grandmother's wedding gown. We exchanged vows, promising to light each other's way through darkness.

* * *

We spent a week entangled in wedded bliss, rarely coming up for air, let alone to eat. There was a dark cloud that loomed over our honeymoon. The X-Men were trying to find me. For days I kept it from Ben, pushing their probing telepathy far from my mind. At first it was only Psylocke, but I became deeply concerned when I felt Xavier's calls. I woke up early in the morning, in a sweat. I shot up. Xavier had finally found us. Ben sat up with me, "What's wrong?"

"We have to go. We have to leave. They know where we are."

"Who?"

"Professor Xavier. Psylocke. All of them." I was frantic. "That's impossible. No one is that powerful."

Ben underestimated Xavier and his mutant abilities. He was arguably the most powerful telepath. He didn't always require cerebro to find mutants, particularly ones he had connected with previously. "Xavier is that powerful." I jumped out of bed and put my clothes on. I zipped up my jacket and grabbed my katana. Ben saw my panic and follow suit. "Do you have a back up plan?" I asked. "Yes, but you might not like it." I let out a sigh, "sand or snow?"

"Sand."

"I'm a fair-skinned Scot, I don't think I can do that," I joked, pressing my lips to his bare shoulder, taking a quick moment to inhale his scent. "I think I have a way to keep us out of the sun." I was about to get distracted once more with the nearness of his body, when her presence was felt immediately. I pushed Ben behind me, protective, drawing my katana and enabling my powers to double up on my weaponry. The door blew down, Psylocke standing under the frame. I lunged at her with harbored resentment from our last encounter. She couldn't match my speed. We swung our weapons at one another, myself on the offense and her on the defense. The fight must have looked ridiculous and childlike, a scene out of a Quentin Tarantino movie.

"You have a lot of nerve showing up here!" I yelled. She kicked me off of her, and I stumbled backwards, "I came to apologize! I came for you!" I lunged at her again, our metal clashing. "Stop coming to rescue me when I don't need to be rescued!" Before we could continue destroying Ben's grandmother's furniture, Ben's hand reached outward towards Psylocke, stalling, and choking her with his telekinetic powers. "That's enough," he moved towards her as she struggled.

"Ben! Stop!"

He hesitated, but released her. The three of us stood at a stand still in the remnants of the kitchen, our weapons drawn. "She's not going with you," Ben moved slowly towards me, enclosing the triangle the three of us formed, his lightsaber still drawn. "She's chosen to stay with me."

"You joined them?" She was oozing with judgment. "No, I chose a third option." I remained in tiger claw position, my katana crossed with my kinetic energy. I wouldn't let me guard down this time, no matter our personal history.

"You're acting like a child. You, of all people, know to never give up on your dreams for a man. Come home, finish your training and your schooling." Psylocke shifted into a relaxed position.

"They weren't my dreams." I followed suit and stood up straight. I did not put my katana away. "I can train her," Ben placed a hand on my shoulder, I grabbed it and held it there. There was a knock from the direction in which the door once was. The rest of the X-Men had arrived.

"It got quiet, so we thought we'd better check in," Rogue said, striding in as her usual cheeky self. She sat down and put her legs up on what was left of the dining room table, "So, sugah, you coming back with us?" I looked over to Ben, his weapon still drawn. I whispered to him, "Put it away." He ignored me and glared at the group that had now entered his grandmother's home. Xavier wasn't with them.

I slid my katana into its sheath, wrapping an arm around Ben's waist. "No, Rogue. I'm not coming with you." Cyclops spoke up, "You don't have a choice, Ace. If it makes you feel any better, your boyfriend will be coming with us too. We didn't come alone." I had to confirm that his statement was true. I took several steps towards the balcony to see the Resistance had the cabin surrounded. My only option, without violence, was to bargain.

"If I come with you, will you let him go?" I came back to Ben, and asked again for him to withdraw his lightsaber. I knew he would fight his way out. I didn't need to lose him or any members of the X-Men. I also wasn't convinced he could survive such a conflict. I was, however, convinced, that the Resistance finding us before the First Order would be the best-case scenario. We had been careless by staying on Naboo for too long.

"We can't make that promise. The Resistance want him," Cyclops said, making his way closer towards us, slowly, not to make any sudden movements. I turned quickly to Ben, "Go with them. Go with them and you'll be safe. The First Order will assume you're a prisoner of war, they won't think you've betrayed them. It's the safest option." He knew I was right, it was the best option to stay together, albeit for how long I didn't know. "You put far too much faith in the Resistance," He said, "They will kill me. I would rather die fighting here than a public execution."

"Well, we won't fight you, but we can't speak for the Resistance. As long as she loves you, we'll do our best to keep you alive. " This odd interjection had come from Psylocke. I placed my hands on his forearms, "Please, I'm begging you." His head turned towards his lightsaber, retracting it. I hugged him as hard as I was physically able to; his arms instinctively wrapped themselves around me in response.

The embrace would be short lived. Before either of us could respond to shuffled movements, Psylocke had telekinetically possessed his lightsaber and Jean had used her powers to wrap all too familiar cuffs around his wrists.

I ducked underneath his now interlocked wrists. "What is this?" I shouted at Jean, coming towards her. "It's a precaution. Psylocke saw something similar used on you in your memory. We made one, so we could bring him back alive."

And that's exactly what they did. The X-Men escorted us out with the Resistance in tow. Our journey back to the base on D'Qar was lengthy and filled with silence. Ben made eye contact with no one, including myself.

We landed outside of the main hanger, where General Leia greeted us. I was unsure if she knew we would be bringing her son back. I looked to Ben to analyze his emotions. His face had splotchy red marks from tears of anger, frustration and disappointment. His usual large, menacing presence had been shrunken by his chains, and replaced with a heightened sense of vulnerability.

"Ben." Leia made her way towards him; he refused to look at her. She cupped her hand on his softened cheek, stroking away a stray tear. I wasn't sure if I should be watching. He rejected her hand, turning his head away; tears strolled down both their faces. The General regained her composure, giving Rogue orders to take Ben to where the Resistance contained their prisoners. Rogue was the only person strong enough to contain him.

I stayed behind in the hanger and watched in agony as he was led away. I kept searched in my mind frantically to find a solution to get us out of this mess, and I kept drawing a blank.

"I am so sorry, Ace," it was Psylocke. She stood next to me, shoulder to shoulder, but we didn't look at one another. "I thought you needed me. I was jealous. We've been together for years, as sisters, as teacher and student. I … hated seeing you not need me anymore. I especially hated seeing you step out from under my shadow. I sent you here to save your life, but it would seem you have found something much greater than I expected. You have found someone who matches you in strength and in mind."

"Is that why you sought me out? Was it really about training a mutant who mirrored your abilities? Was it really about the better good of the X-Men so you could just fuck off one day? Or was this about needing to be needed?" She paused at my question.

"I always figured you knew that was what I intended to do – to runaway. I don't belong with the X-Men, it's really just … a favor to stick around. I thought with your honesty, cool head and smarts, you'd be a perfect replacement. As for feeling needed? That's what it turned into. I could have left a long time ago, but I didn't want to leave you. I started to need you more than you needed me." It was a satisfying moment to hear Psylocke confess the answers to my years of suspicion. I reached down and held her hand, still avoiding her gaze. This was the most I could do emotionally to utter forgiveness. "Will they keep him alive?" I asked, clutching her hand. "I can't see the General writing up an execution order… given the … circumstances."

"He's my husband."

She said nothing. "I'm telling you this in confidence."

"Okay."

* * *

It would be two days before I would be permitted to see him. I didn't have clearance, but Xavier and the General had come to an agreement. I would be permitted to see him twice a week for an hour, no more, no less. Before I entered his imprisonment, I placed my ring back on my left hand. I had been hiding our marriage from everyone other than Psylocke.

The soldiers opened the door for me, giving me a nod that I was good to go. "Hi," I said, staying close to the door.

He was sitting up on a bench, which appeared to double as a bed. He was still in his black pants, but barefoot, and in a plain white, long sleeved shirt. His hands were still cuffed. He stood up and I ran to him, wrapping my arms around his large frame. He placed his cuffed hands over my neck, resting them on my shoulders and bringing me inward to him. We kissed. "I'm so sorry, this is all my fault," I needed him to know that I would take the blame for this. He said nothing, but his bottom lip trembled. "I should have died back home, and never been sent here. I've ruined your life."

"No. You brought me peace."

"I'll get you out of here. I promise."

For the remainder of the visit, we sat on his bunk in silence. I held his hand and didn't let go until I was forced to leave.


	8. Chapter 8

Ben's fate remained undetermined a week later. I spent that week tearing myself a part, moving on from blaming myself, to conjuring up a plan to get him out of his prison. The scenario was tearing me a part, and yet I conceded that this must be more emotionally intolerable for General Leia than myself. Whenever I was within range of her, I would attempt to read her mind to find some answers. Unfortunately, her mind was steady with battle planning. I determined that if her pain was hidden in her mind, it most certainly had to be in her heart.

It was a Friday evening and the Resistance was celebrating a holiday by hosting a bonfire outside the base. The X-Men joined them, as we were now considered a special unit within their force. I initially rejected the offer to join our comrades, but Psylocke gently reminded of the asshole that I had become.

"At least make an attempt to look like you're having a good time," Psylocke smirked, handing me a beverage full with alcohol. "I'll do my best," I said dryly, accepting her drink. She put her arm around my shoulders; her breath smelt of alcohol. "What do you think of him?" She pointed her cup towards Poe.

"He's just your type." She shamelessly strutted her way over to him. She always did walk towards men as if she was working a high fashion runway.

I made the conscious decision to down my beverage in one go. It had been a long week and would likely be a long night. I wasn't nearly drunk enough to enjoy myself just yet. I would have loved to ghost, but I was certain my absence would have been noted. I turned around to find the bar when a familiar face stood in front of me, an arm extending a beverage towards me. "I know you!" I was surprised. It was the young boy, at least fifteen years old that had been rescued with me from the First Order. He handed me a drink, his hand shaking. "I haven't seen you since … the great escape."

"I … I wanted to thank you," He was nervous. I was confused, "I don't understand."

"If it wasn't for you, I'd be dead. They would have killed me. I mean … that man … he interrogated me. I thought … I thought he was going to rip open my head…" Yet another reminder of the monster Kylo Ren could be. "I'm so sorry that happened…" I white knuckled my drink, unsure of how much he knew about me. "I'm stronger for it, don't be sorry. If it wasn't for you, I don't know what you did but you persuaded him to keep me alive, I think. Anyways, I'm glad for it. Thank you."

He was right, I did want him alive. My initial plan was to have him to pilot us out of First Order's ship, simultaneously rescuing the both of us under the guise of following the First Orders plan. "You assumed right," I assured him, "but I think the joint rescue was more of a fluke. How old are you, by the way?"

He smiled, "I'm fourteen. My dad was one of the pilots here; he died in the last battle with the First Order. I learnt everything I knew from him. My name is Drier." He extended a hand towards me. I eyed it suspiciously, and took my free hand to smack him upside the head.

"You are too young to be involved in this! Go home to your mother!" He was stunned. "Go!" he ran off, glancing behind him to ensure I wasn't following. I remained where I was and finished the rest of my second drink.

"So, you're yelling at children now?" Jean walked up to me, laughing.

"He's practically a child soldier!" I motioned my arm towards the way in which he left.

Jean crossed her arms, "Well, to be fair, I joined the X-Men as a teenager. It's also good to see your attitude is back." I looked down at my empty cup and crumpled it up. "I fucked up good, Jean." Her smile was always calming, "I know. We all have our moment and this one is yours."

"How did you deal with it?"

"Not to minimize your situation, but your shining moment here has been the act of falling in love with the wrong man. As to how did I deal with … the Phoenix? I haven't. She's always inside of me, contained, fighting to get out. I'm responsible … or she is … for a lot of deaths, Quinn. I ask for forgiveness everyday for the things that I have done because I couldn't control her. And everyday is different. Is it my fault or hers? A part of me also wonders if that's why Scott strayed. Maybe he couldn't stand to look or touch me after what I had done." Jean had always been open to me, but never about what happened in her past with the Phoenix.

"Jean, Scott strayed once and once only. You and I both know he loves you to the end of the world and would do anything for you. You don't need to read his mind to know that." I'd hope my words helped assure her, "And let's be reasonable. Psylocke is no angel herself."

"I know. But I want you to understand that I will never judge you for being in love with a conflicted man. I struggle between the Phoenix and the Dark Phoenix daily, I suspect Kylo Ren also struggles with darkness and light just as much. I'm thankful to have someone like Scott." I had never thought to compare Jean's struggle to Kylo Ren's. It wasn't as if their moral compass was shot, it was their powers that suffocated them. This struggle was guiding their abilities that could both help and hinder their decisions.

"Thank you, Jean." I gave her a nod and walked closer to the bonfire. I sat around the bonfire and continued drinking with my colleagues and Resistance officers for the rest of the evening.

* * *

I woke up later than anticipated, but not fully hung-over. After getting dressed I made my way to the prisoner's holding. Today was one of my visitation days with Ben.

When I walked into his holding cell, he was sitting upright, hunched over with his head in his hands. "Are you alright?" I asked.

"How was the party?" He asked. I was taken back. We couldn't have possibly been that loud. "It was fine…" I responded cautiously. He turned to me, his face filled with hate and anger, his jaw clenched. "Have I done something?" Perhaps a rather stupid question of me to ask.

"The First Order is coming. They know that I am here. Supreme Leader Snoke found me and is willing … to forgive my indiscretions." I withheld my poker face, and let my rage seep through. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "I … I … " he stood up and came towards me. "It's where I belong," he said definitively.

"So everything was just bullshit?" To say I was mad was an understatement.

"No. Come with me, join me."

"No!" It was all I could muster. He couldn't grab me, but I knew he wanted to as he towered over me.

"Join me, and rule with me. The First Order will win this war."

"So what? You want me to join you and be your Evil Queen? Are you insane?"

"You did marry a prince."

Before either of us could say anything more, there was a loud boom, shaking the floor. Dust from the ceiling covered us, and the lights flickered. The First Order was here, he was just giving me a five-minute warning. "You're the same coward I met on day one!"

"Come with me!" His cuffed hands reached for me. "And if I don't?" I pulled my katana from its sheath. "You'll die here with everyone else. I can't live with myself if that were to happen." He raised his hands to my face, but I pulled back, and sliced the chains, setting him free.

"You showed me mercy once, and I'll show it to you now." I placed my katana back in its sheath. We stood in front of each other for what felt like a lifetime, my insides fueled with rage, my heart breaking. Stormtroopers were making their way to his cell. My only way to get out alive was to use an old trick Jean Grey taught me. I raised two fingers to my temple, and extended my right hand to the door as the troopers blasted through it. I used every ounce of telepathy I could to remain invisible to them. I couldn't, however, remain invisible to Ben. He stared at me, confused, as his soldiers made their way to him. "Are you alright?" They asked him. He nodded, staring at me, as I fixated on my invisibility. "Sir… we have to go. Are you sure you are all right?" It made sense that they were concerned for his mental well being, as his eyes appeared to be fixated on a wall. He nodded again, "Yes." One of them handed him a lightsaber, and they marched out of the prison, Ben taking one last look at me. The moment they were out of sight, I grabbed my katana, ignited my kinetic weapon, and ran down the hallway in the opposite direction.

The base was falling a part. I ran down the corridor, searching for any survivors before the roof caved in. I found the War Room strewn with bodies. It had been a massacre. I searched quickly as the base shook, and heard someone call out. It was the Admiral. "Ackbar!" I shouted. He was under a heap of ceiling remnants. I lifted the tiles and helped him up, putting his arm around me. We ran as fast as we could to the exit. By the time we reached the outside, the entirety of the building caved in.

The X-Men. Where were they? I had to get Ackbar to safety. I looked up to see my cohort in action. Rogue tore through a TIE fighter, dismantling it in the air. Cyclops and Gambit were single handedly taking out Stormtroopers on the ground. I spotted Psylocke on top of some large walking machine, ripping into the cockpit with her kinetic katana and, likely, ending whatever life was inside of it. Jean, Beast and Xavier were missing. I spotted some Resistance officers and called out to them to help their Admiral. It was chaos.

"Is the General with Xavier?" I asked the officer, handing off the Admiral to him. "I don't know ma'am, but a few managed to escape. We need to go now!" I turned to the X-Men and caught a glimpse of Captain Phasma and Finn battling. "Take the Admiral. We'll join you later. I have some vermin to take care of."

Finn was a strong fighter. No doubt about it. But Phasma was a force to be reckoned with.

I had both katanas drawn, and made my way towards them. "Phasma!" I shouted to garner her attention. They both looked. "Remember me?" Finn and Phasma remained in their deadlock with their weapons. "Finn! Run! Go find Rey! I've got her."

I lunged at Phasma, forcing her to drop her focus on Finn. He didn't move, "GO!" I shouted again. He finally ran to find his comrades amidst the battlefield that was once the rebel base. Phasma and I were locked together.

"I've been wondering when I'd run into you again," her tone was aggressive. I couldn't determine what her weapon was, a large metal rod that blocked my mutant powers from cutting through it. I summoned every ounce of strength to push our interlocked weapons back at her. Once I had her upright and no longer towering over me, I quickly turned around and swung my katana at her knees. She screamed out in pain.

I took what seconds I had to search for any familiar faces while she was down. I found one. Ben was standing in a black cloak on the docking bay of an enemy ship. He called out to me one last time, "Come with me!" His unarmed hand was extended. I didn't respond.

The distraction of Ben would prove to be fatal. Phasma swung at me with a large knife, slicing my arm. I cried out in pain, but retaliated immediately. I drew my kinetic katana back and lunged it towards her mid-section, impaling her. She fell to her knees as I retracted my kinetic katana. I was in shock. I had never actually killed before. I looked to Ben. He had witnessed the entire encounter. I could have sworn I saw him smile as he turned and walked up the breezeway.

The Resistance continued to retreat, X-Wings held off TIE fighters in the air. Psylocke and Rogue came running up behind me, "We gotta go!" We ran towards a familiar ship, the Blackbird, which had landed within feet of us. The dock lowered and Jean Grey greeted us. Rey, Finn and a small droid were running behind us. "Come with us!" The six of us ran for our lives through the battlefield. The First Order wasn't taking any prisoners.

Once we made it to the ship, we buckled ourselves in with the remaining X-Men. Rey and Finn were seated on opposite sides of me. "Do either of you know where the General is?" I asked. "No," Rey was first to respond, "She might be at our meeting place at Coruscant. If this base on D'Qar were to ever fall, we're to meet her there, and go underground for a time until the secondary base can be equipped for us." She looked just as shaken as the others. Finn pressed his head back into the seat, his eyes closed.

"It was a mistake to keep him," She said. I looked to her and nodded in agreement. "Why does he hate you so much, Rey?" She explained everything to me on the way to Coruscant. Their encounters had always been filled with aggression, and someone almost always ended up hurt or dead. "I think there is good in everyone," She ended her story, "But … after seeing what he did to his own father, I question whether or not it's alive in him." I turned to look at the ground and provided a rather weak response to her incredible story, "Understandably so." She was unaware of my affair with Ben. I began to believe that the affair in and of itself was a secret among the X-Men and the General only.

"How you doing, Ace?" Psylocke asked across the way from me. "I'll be alright," I responded, looking at the open flesh wound on my arm. It was really nothing compared to the damage Phasma had inflicted previously. Phasma. I will be plagued by her death for a lifetime. It was survival, I kept telling myself, and she would have killed me if she had the chance. But I was equally to blame; I sought out the fight.

* * *

Coruscant was like Hong Kong on steroids. I had never seen such tall buildings, and bright lights. I would come to learn that over a trillion species lived on this city planet. Luckily, the Blackbird wouldn't be recognized as a Resistance ship. Ever since the fall of the Empire, restoring order through either the New Republic and the First Order had fallen difficult for this particular planet. It may have likely been that it had now become, essentially, the Switzerland in this galactic war. Coruscant refused to take sides given its lengthy history of flipping from good to evil leadership.

Once the Blackbird landed, we made our way to the underground city in search of General Leia. The droid, BB-8, led the way. As we walked, Psylocke and I took the time to decompress. "Why are we still here, Psylocke?" It didn't make sense. We had lost the battle back on D'Qar, but we managed to push back the First Order with our mutant abilities that allowed Resistance fighters to escape. We had failed in some aspects, but succeeded in others. Now, it would appear the Resistance was in full retreat. Rey was right, harboring a prisoner as powerful as Kylo Ren was a dangerous move. Perhaps I was wrong about the General; maybe her heart did get in the way.

"We have unfinished business." Psylocke spoke with authority. "What do you mean … unfinished business?" I gave her a glaring side-eye. "We have to get you divorced," she smirked.

"Very funny." I wasn't impressed.

"I have seen a bit more than I'm willing to share with you right now. Our mission isn't over yet. We'll be home soon enough."

I sighed, "I really don't want to be here anymore." What was not long ago an escape from reality had become a living hell. This galaxy had tested and stretched my strengths. I longed for my bed back at Xavier's mansion, the classrooms at my university, the comfort of sweatpants and my evening retainer. I missed the normalcy I had spent so much time desperately wishing to shed.

BB-8 had let us to what could only be described as a nightclub. Neon signs and loud music emitted from the doorway as we made our way inside. Xavier approached bartender as we stood in the foyer, taking in the scene. This night club was I actuality a bar. It was full of varying species and humans interacting. Xavier turned and motioned for us to follow him. We were led to a large industrial elevator, where he punched in a code, taking us several floors underground. Rey and Finn looked concerned, whereas the X-Men looked annoyed. We were tired, hungry, and, if my feelings were shared, not in the mood for any mystery meetings.

The door opened to General Leia. "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, you're alive!" I couldn't contain my happiness. I pushed Psylocke out of the way and ran towards her, wrapping my arms around her as tight as I could.

"So, what exactly is all this? The new base?" Rogue interjected, her arms crossed. She was tired and grumpy as well. Gambit lazily put an arm around her, resting his head on her shoulder. The image of their affection pained me.

General Leia shook her head, "No, not the new base. The Resistance isn't solely based on D'Qar. We grabbed what we could and brought it here for now. In public, Coruscant is impartial, but the Resistance has come to an understanding with the local government. We'll set up here for a few days and make our way to the secondary base when I receive the all clear. In the mean time, you will stay in local accommodation, but separately. I imagine by now the First Order has a good idea of who you all are and what your … abilities are. Remaining in a large group might draw attention to First Order supporters, especially if there are bounties on any of your heads. Try to appear as if being here is normal, stay in pairs, but keep aware of your surroundings."

We collectively began to make our way to the exit, when Psylocke turned to the General, "… Did Poe make it out alive?" Her concern about Poe surprised me, I turned to watch the interaction between the two. "He did, Psylocke. He's at the other base." They both gave each other a nod, and we made our way back up to the bar. We split into pairs, couples, and then Beast with Xavier, myself with Psyclocke. We made sure not to share rooms, and stay on different floors in our respective accommodations.


	9. Chapter 9

I sat on the floor of my hotel room in front of he window like a child, cross-legged, staring at the vast city in front of me. I remained this way for two days, barely moving, barely sleeping. I remained in my tattered and bloodied uniform, reminiscent of the scenes that took place 48 hours ago on D'Qar. I couldn't bring myself to change.

On the third day, I woke up on the floor, the sun rose over the skyscrapers on Coruscant. There was a knock on the door.

"It's me," Pyslocke was here to check up on me.

I didn't respond.

She opened the door. I sat upright in the same position, ignoring her presence.

"Christ you look terrible," Psylocke ran her hands through my messy, matted hair. "Come on Ace, have you showered? Eaten?"

"Go," I choked back tears. My voice was coarse.

She made her way around my body, and knelt in front of me, caressing my face. I leaned into her hand that cupped my cheek, avoiding her gaze. Her face dripped with concerned, but I couldn't talk. Not yet.

"Go. Please," I asked again. Psylocke leaned in and embraced me.

"Okay."

She let go, stood up and left.

* * *

I woke suddenly. The left side of my face itched against the carpet. My eyes scanned the window, adjusting to the city lights. I rolled myself onto my back to see him kneeling beside me. Ben. I instinctively grabbed my katana that lay next to me, unsheathed it, and attacked. He stopped the weapon mid-air with his telekinesis.

"Why are you fighting me?"

I threw the weapon down and lunged for him.

"Stop!"

"No!" I continued to lash at him, fighting, human-to-human, not mutant to Sith. He overpowered me physically, pinning me to the carpeted floor, straddling me to keep me from moving. After barely eating and sleeping for three days, my adrenaline didn't last as long as I needed it to. I was drained of strength.

"Why are you here? Have you already killed everyone? You found us?" I asked, turning my head and holding my gaze at the city night.

"I came for you. Only you. Look at me."

I ignored him.

"We can't run, Quinn. We can't run from the First Order or the Resistance. They'll find us. Either side will find us."

He wasn't wrong.

Ben leaned over to match my gaze. He raised his hand and motioned the curtains closed. The room filled with darkness. The room was quiet. The weight of one of his hands left my body momentarily. A lamp turned on.

For the first time, I met his eyes. We studied each other, without telepathy. The weight of his body on mine began to hurt. Taking notice of this, he sat back, alleviating his weight, straddling me.

"Go away." I propped myself up under him with my newly released elbows, maintaining eye contact.

"You're a mess," he responded to me by brushing his hand through my hair, "you need to bathe." With speed and strength, I was being thrown over his shoulder as he made his way to the bathroom. I struggled under his grasp, "Stop! Enough!" I fought. He put me down in the shower and motioned the water on. The hot water hit me, warming me up. My uniform began to stick uncomfortably to my body. I looked to Ben who was standing inches away from me, out of the water.

"We're not over. It'll never be over," His lower lip trembled as he said this.

My hand instinctively reached to him, pulling him to join me underneath the showerhead. As the hot water ran, my hands found themselves reaching up towards his neck, guiding him in to kiss me. Ben obliged.

"I missed you," he whispered between kisses. I brushed his wet hair back. I didn't know what to say. I missed him, but I still felt betrayed.

"This isn't working," I said, pulling away. He looked confused. "This … it's not sexy," I started unzipping my wet uniform, naked for the first time in days. Once I had taken off the jacket, I started with him, undressing him slowly as he wrapped his long arms around my body, kissing my neck, unbuckling the bra that stuck to my body. "This is better," I said, now free from our wet clothes that now lay on the bathroom floor. The steam rose as I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his naked waist. He thrust into me, pushing us against the tiled wall. Ten minutes prior, my soul had been asleep, but the feeling of him inside me awoken me.

"Oh god," I moaned between our lips.

"Should I…"

"No, don't stop."

* * *

"You can't just come here and fuck me, pretending like nothing happened."

We lay in bed after having spent the evening together. The morning had come, and I was just as tired as I was before he found me.

"You sound like me," Ben retorted.

"What's the supposed to mean?"

"I am not one to forgive."

He wasn't wrong. I rolled over into his body, seeking his warmth. I traced my fingers along the scar on his abdomen. Yes, he wasn't one to forgive.

"The X-Men have joined the resistance."

"I know."

"The resistance wants you dead."

Silence.

"The First Order has forgiven you?"

"… To an extent."

He wouldn't expand further on what the stipulation was for returning to the First Order. Not that he necessarily 'returned' so much as he was saved by First Order soldiers.

"I killed your Captain." A tear formed and made it's way down my cheek. The reminder again that I had taken a life to save a life. Ben placed his hand on my chin, raising my head to meet his gaze as he sat upright in the bed.

"I can move past it," he smiled.

"How many have you killed?"

He shifted uncomfortably under my weight.

"There is a darkness that has consumed me," he started, and I could feel his grip tighten around me. "When I am with you … the darkness it … it's not gone, but the light … I can feel it more. I can't fight it with you. You calm the chaos that's inside."

"What you're saying is … I better you?" Truth be told, I wasn't sure what any of this meant. He nodded. "I can't say that same, Ben. I mean … you bring out this fire in me. It's like … I've been this dormant volcano for so long, just … asleep. I went about life, doing what I thought I was meant to do. Harness my mutant abilities, train under Psylocke, become and academic. It made me tired. Then you came along and you just … god, you make me so angry! And frustrated! And … impassioned."

Ben leaned over, putting his hands around me and kissing the top of my head.

"So I bring out the worst in you?" He joked.

"Yes. You do."

I held his hand, and began to play with the long fingers in mine.

"There is a master in Japan. I'm going to train with him. Psylocke always wanted me to. I think it's time."

He didn't respond.

"I'm leaving. I'm not fighting your war. Not for either side. I won't finish what you started." I sat up, and swung my legs around, holding the blanket around my body.

"Whether you like it or not, you've chosen your side!" He grabbed my arm. "You stayed with me. You married me. You fought for me. You have chosen _my_ side!"

I pulled my arm back.

"I'm a scholar," I started, turning towards him, "I know how this goes down. The First Order will fall. Fascist governments always fall. It did before, and it'll happen again. It's cyclical. Democracy always prevails. It may take longer for some countries … or in this case … planets or systems or whatever. But I can assure you, you will lose this war, Kylo Ren." I stood up and made my way to my now clean, and dry clothes. I dressed as he fumed.

"The Empire made mistakes. My grandfather made mistakes. We have learned from them, and we will defeat the Resistance."

"You'll win a few battles, but you won't win the war. People want freedom. You're goal is to take that away. No one will stand for it. The people will fight you." I zipped up my leather jacket, pulling on the neck; it was always a little too tight. I pulled my disastrous hair back into a low, messy bun, and positioned my katana on my back.

"If you're so sure of this, why are you walking away from both sides?" He wrapped a sheet around his waist and made his way towards me and towered.

"Xavier is making a mistake. He knows this isn't our war. I'm not sure why he's insisting on helping. With us behind the Resistance, if he calls in even more reinforcements … more mutants. You're done. Our real battle is back home, fighting genocidal mutants and human prejudice. Our fight is a social justice fight, and it's where we belong. That's a war worth fighting. This is a power struggle, and I'll have nothing of it," I wasn't going to let him get a word in. I had made my decision, "I've had three days to think about this. I don't want any part of it, okay? I'm going home to train, and to fight the good fight there."

"Why are you walking away from me?"

"Because every time you and I are in a room together, it endangers one of our lives. Sometimes both like right now. We always seem to find each other at our worst. Every time you find me, I'm a fucking mess. This isn't who I am!"

"Where are you going to go?!" he shouted at me, as I made my way to the door.

"An old friend is coming to get me."

* * *

"Get in loser, we're going home!"

Peter stood at the docking bay in front of Blackbird II, arms crossed, his infamous smirk painted on his face. I made my way towards him, annoyed, angry, but the moment I reached him and he wrapped his arms around me, I couldn't help but smile.

"I missed you," He said.

"Thank you for coming, Quickie." We squeezed each other a little tighter.

"C'mon, let's GTFO," he joked.


End file.
